Contact Baratunde’s People. Yes, he has people now
You may have many reasons for wanting to contact Team Baratunde. Please choose among the following to help our botnet assess your Baratunde-related needs as well as other needs you may have:
CHIEF OF STAFF
For meeting requests, availability, and all general inquiries.
You want to bring Baratunde to speak or perform at your gala, conference, school or military compound. Good choice. These inquiries are handled by Baratunde’s speaking agents at CAA.
You are interested in having Baratunde participate in a television, film or big-piles-of-money project. These inquiries will go to Baratunde’s TV/Film/Big Piles Of Money agents at CAA as well as an unnamed high ranking military official stationed in Guam.
Your world has been transformed by “How To Be Black,” and you want to devote the entire front page of your media company’s real estate to it. Forever. Or maybe you are interested in convincing Baratunde to write another book rather than letting him enjoy this one. These inquiries are handled by Baratunde’s centurions at Harper Collins and The David Black Agency.
You need Baratunde to advise your government on post-revolutionary reforms or perhaps you just want him to teach you how to Dougie. These inquiries are printed out and burned in a ritual fire in a sub-basement of a Wall Street investment bank. The ashes are mixed with ink and pressed into a typewriter ribbon, at which point a gifted child is asked to re-type your original message and read it quietly to Baratunde in his sleep where he will contemplate its contents during his dreams.