How To Be Black

mergermania:

After deciding to join forces with the design and animation studio I Shot Him, we weren’t about to issue some boring press release. No, sir. Instead, we ordered a Mergetron 9000 and began imagining an entire universe of mergers that could exist as part of #MergerMania

Visit cultivatedwit.com to learn more of this most holy union, and be sure to like, follow, friend, subscribe, and pledge unending servitude to Cultivated Wit for more amazingness soon to come! 

Very excited that my company is growing, and oh what a fun way to do so!

User Submitted

Internet memes love to focus on the tooth-deprived, heavy-set, or more flamboyant sector of blackness. It’s like when ‘Precious’ came out. All the Hollywood (white) actresses raved about her, loved taking pics with her. I don’t remember that level of fanfare over Thandie Newton. Uh HUH.

It makes me laugh and die a little when I see black women in ill-fitting clothes held up for ridicule by social media. What makes it sad is the women see themselves as multi-faceted individuals and think everyone else does too.

These women are in booty shorts with grills and 4-inch fingernails, but they also have jobs, spouses, children, and artistic interests. Too often all we see are the two minutes they let their hair down after a 50-hour work week. But, like those Hollywood actresses, people love to laugh at the poorly dressed, heavy-set black woman because they feel superior to her. They need to believe that lie, because their own self-worth is based on a hierarchy that is itself based on a lie.

User Submitted: Capital Read!

Working in Advertising I’m usually (if not perennially) the only person of colour at the agency - this is something I’ve grown accustomed to, and honestly, hadn’t seriously considered until I read your hilariously erudite piece of literature - it was empowering.

I’ve found very nuanced ways of tactfully calling people out on their - sometimes varied - ignorance as opposed to my prior habit of laughing off those awkward situations. Case in point: here’s how a mate of mine *casually* described a girl he wanted to set me up with: “Dude, she’s great! She’s a lawyer, has a great sense of humour and not like *insert neck roll gesture* Shanaynay… she’s white-washed… like you… you two will get along”. In an equally casual tone, I told him that the term “white-washed” isn’t exactly complimentary and he seemed genuinely surprised. This in turn led to an honest conversation about the problem with stereotypes (how they are incomplete and ultimately flatten people’s experiences) and a profound learning experience for the pair of us.

Cheers a ton for such a capital read. Your acerbic and bone marrow dry humour made for numerous laugh-out-loud-at-an-ungodly-hour-type-scenarios. 

Many thanks, Baratunde!